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Acaster gets fortune cookies with harsh truths.

Proper fortune cookies with real fortunes, not that mainstream restaurant crap we have that tells us what we want to hear. Acaster tells you what they used to shout at other gangs when theyвЂ™d see him, why he had to move, and he eventually goes on to tell you some solid life advice: you shouldnвЂ™t shout someone elseвЂ™s name to get their attention, you should shout your own name.В He wants you to know that he loves fortune cookies. He recently moved from Southwest London, and when he lived in Southwest London he was in a gang. To start off Acaster tells you a little bit about himself. He mocks celebrity gossip more successfully in four minutes than anyone else IвЂ™ve ever seen, before telling you the real reason heвЂ™s here: to tell you about his friend who works in a casino, and killed two people by mistake. Pedro Cortez, the eleventh and eighteenth miner out of the mine, was days of the week socks, specifically on the wrong day so his socks donвЂ™t forget whoвЂ™s in charge. He then talks about Jimmy Sanchez, who has hot drinks with hot meals. Once the show starts for real, the lights are up and someoneвЂ™s on stage with a mic, standing up so the show can begin, Acaster kicks it off right away with some celebrity gossip about Jorge Gallaguillos getting kicked out of a karaoke bar. вЂњRepresentвЂќ is going to be a stand-up special about friendship, the non-refundability of time, the beauty of jury duty, the best Christmas of his life, and an existential question of doubt.

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Question number two: вЂњBut what came before that?вЂќ This two and half minute gag about what came before the big bang is turned into one of the more amusing meta openings to a stand-up special that perfectly prepares you for what episode two of AcasterвЂ™s series Repertoire is going to be.

вЂњThe universe began with a big bang, but what came before that?вЂќ Little Acaster was religious as a child, and since he believed in God at the time, that was his answer. The first line of вЂњRepresent,вЂќ delivered in a blacked out theater, is a simple question. Today, weвЂ™re moving onto some lighter, simpler, less existential material. Yesterday we watched The Double Life of Pat Springleaf (shout out to all my KieЕ›lowski heads out there), learning about the beauty of loopholes, the laziness of Google, the beauty of the cardboard box, and the tragedy of an undercover police officer.

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We daily update the latest United States Sports news headlines, US breaking news, sports, business, entertainment, US politics, video and wallpapers, and more here.Day two of our series on James AcastersвЂ™ Repertoire. Subscribe To Our Newsletters And Get Sports News today. Watch all the latest Sports news from the World. #Josh #Allen #injury #McDermott #Bills #Play #Sunday We update ( 23:31:37) this United States news headline from Sports News, Dan Lyons вЂ“ official website вЂ“ Popular Search: We update regularly Sports Latest Breaking News Headlines here.

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ET.ДЇor more news on the Buffalo Bills, head over to Bills Central.Д¬lick for Read вЂњJosh Allen injury: McDermott says Bills QB Will Play SundayвЂќ full news

SundayвЂ™s game in Buffalo kicks off at 1 p.m. Devin Singletary and Matt Breida ran for 64 yards but touched the ball just seven combined times, as the Bucs jumped out to a big lead.Д«uffalo (7вЂ“6) has a much more manageable game on Sunday, against a free-falling Carolina squad, that has fallen to 5вЂ“8 after a 3вЂ“0 start to the season. The Bills have still struggled to find a consistent rushing identity. He was ultimately outdueled by Tom Brady (363 passing yards, three total touchdowns), and the Buccaneers had the benefit of a more balanced attack with 113 yards and a touchdown on the ground from Leonard Fournette. He set season highs in all rushing categories in the game. He went 36 for 54 for 308 yards, two touchdowns and an interception, and diced up Tampa Bay on the ground for 109 yards and a touchdown on 12 carries. McDermott said Allen will be a вЂњfull participantвЂќ during FridayвЂ™s practice.ДЄllen had an up-and-down performance against the defending Super Bowl champions. He was out there on Thursday, though, and coach Sean McDermott says he will play Sunday against the Panthers. That wonвЂ™t change this weekend, even with the foot injury he sustained last Sunday against the Buccaneers.ДЄllen is dealing with a sprained foot, that has limited him in practice this week. Josh Allen has played in every game for the Bills dating back to the start of the 2019 season, his second in the NFL.